Frequently Asked Questions

He's getting away!

Are your t-shirts just some wack ass iron-on inkjet transfer Cafepress bullshit?
Hell no brother! Our shirts are 100% genuine screen prints, so they have sharp lines and solid colors that won't fade away. We print them by hand on a manual press in an actual garage, to imbue them with the living warmth that machines are unable to replicate.

OK cool. So what about the shirts you use? Are they some polyester garbage?
Not a chance. We use only 100% cotton heavyweight t-shirts from Hanes, Gildan, American Apparel, and Fruit of the Loom.

Do you ship internationally?
We sure do. Our mission is to spread our filth to every corner of the globe. When you're finished filling your cart and hit the "Pay Now" button to begin the checkout process, the Paypal checkout engine will prompt you for your location and give you a choice of shipping options and prices.

Sometimes sizes are different between brands and countries. What exactly do your sizes mean?
Here's a size chart that should help.
Size Width Height
Youth Medium 18" (46cm) 23" (58cm)
Small 18" (46cm) 28" (71cm)
Medium 20" (51cm) 29" (74cm)
Large 22" (56cm) 30" (76cm)
XL 24" (61cm) 31" (79cm)
2XL 26" (66cm) 32" (81cm)
3XL 28" (71cm) 33" (84cm)

What if I buy a shirt and find it unsatisfying?
We guarantee satisfaction in every conceivable way. If your shirt doesn't turn night into day and melt your heart like a Hershey's Kiss on the dashboard of a '73 Dodge Swinger in the middle of July, then we'll make it right. Just email us what's wrong and we'll tell you how to send that sucker back to us for a full refund (less shipping charges). I love you.

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